Every marriage is imperfect in its own way. This is because there are no perfect people and no perfect couples. Just think about it. How can two individuals from different families live a perfect and harmonious life, just because they got married?
When I was young, I believed that if I found the perfect husband, I’d have a perfect marriage. I even thought I was wise enough to understand that there would be challenges. If I entered into the “right” relationship, we would be able to face these challenges together. I didn’t have the slightest clue. Now, it surprises me when I run across people who are still hoping for a perfect marriage by searching for the perfect spouse. Under different circumstances, if I was still single, I might be doing the same!
But, 20 plus years of navigating my marriage relationship, and listening to others talk of theirs, has taught me that there’s no such thing as a perfect marriage. When we come to our senses, we realize a perfect marriage can only exist if each person in the relationship has a perfect relationship with God, themselves, and everyone else! We all know how difficult that is! Why would we expect a miracle to occur just because we love someone?
Marriage is not that expensive wedding you had. Marriage isn’t something you flaunt around to prove a point to whomever. Marriage is not a fairytale.
Marriage is just the beginning of a long journey in a partnership that includes many challenging dynamics. It may not be challenging in the beginning but give it time. What your relationship was when you first started is not what it will be in 5 years, 10 years, or beyond.
Marriages evolve, grow, and mature. You’ll go through phases of being extremely satisfied with your spouse and also go through periods of discontent. Do NOT let this detour you from marriage or suggest that your marriage is unproductive and pointless. You’ll go through years of being deeply in love and have random feelings and moments of wondering what would have happened if you’d chosen it differently. This is normal and to be expected.
I honestly think it’s imperative for people to open up and share the truth about relationships and what they are really like. It makes me upset to think, for so long, I had this fairytale story in my mind and felt like a failure when my own marriage didn’t perfectly reflect the parts of the bible that I CHOSE to read, and what I’d read in a children’s book as a little girl. My hopes and wishes deceived me; for years, I didn’t understand the realistic opportunities for love right in front of me.
Marriage may not be perfect, but I know for a fact that there will be plenty of PERFECT OPPORTUNITIES to love and grow in your union.
Written by Monica Jones